A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet-

erinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the

table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and

listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or

two, the vet shook his head sadly and said,

"I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?

"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I

mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might

just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He

returned a few moments later with a black Labrador.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his

hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed

the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad

eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out and returned a few moments

later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped-up on the table and also

sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat

back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down

and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this

A little girl went into a pet shop and asked

is most definitely, 100% certifiably, an ex duck."

"Excuthe me, do you haf any widdle wabbits?" .

Then the vet turned to his computer, hit a few keys, and produced a

The shop keeper's heart melted. He got down on

bill, which he handed to the woman.

his knees so that he was on her level and said

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill."150 euros !" she cried.

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft,

"150 euros just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

fuffy bwack wabbit? Or maybe one like that widdle bwown

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill

one over there?". The little girl blushed, rocked on her

would have been 20 euros, but what with the Lab Report and the

heels, put her hands on her knees, leaned forward and whis-

Cat Scan, it all mounts up."

pered....... " I don't weally fink my pyfon gives a toth”